no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
