Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
