The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
