i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
