pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
