Can Purell be used as lube?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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