I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
