living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My ATM looks so different sober.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
