Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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