I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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