playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
