I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
