IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
