Christians are straight up FREAKS
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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