i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
