whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
