i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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