so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
