I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
