He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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