I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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