How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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