Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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