The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
