The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
