My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
