I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She needs sedatives and a leash
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
