I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
