As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
