glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
