420 ftw
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
