Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
