I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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