Christians are straight up FREAKS
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
