I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
