Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to wash the frat house off of me
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
