I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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