Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My dad is sitting where you rode me
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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