Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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