so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
