yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
