Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
