Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
