Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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