she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
