good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
