tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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