are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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