I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
