She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
