It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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