Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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